


【 Middle Earth : Beta 】

by DaemonUnix



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe, BAMF!Bilbo, BAMF!Wizards, Bromance, Bromance to Romance, Courtship, Fix-It, Gandalf is a Magnificent Bastard, Imaginary Friends, M/M, Modern Language in Medieval world, Role-Playing Game, Social Networking, Video Game Mechanics, Where's the Phoenix Downs and Healing Potions? This isn't Final Fantasy!, communication problems, fantasy and reality converge, pervy fun Nori, pop culture references, sassy poetic philosophical Bilbo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-03
Updated: 2013-03-05
Packaged: 2017-12-04 03:47:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/706202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaemonUnix/pseuds/DaemonUnix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Missions:</p><p>Dinner<br/>| Time limit 00:25:30 |<br/>You have one wizard and thirteen famished dwarves arriving for dinner to discuss your adventure. Be sure to make a good first impression and satisfy their stomachs. Mini game at your kitchen can be done to prepare more fulfilling dishes. Recipes can be bought in the marketplace.<br/>Completed | Grade: A<br/>Reward: +5 Reputation</p><p>Pack<br/>| Time limit 00:07:30 |<br/>Prepare for the long quest to Erebor. Pack up everything from the list on your desk. Additional items are allowed, but be careful for it eats up stamina.<br/>Completed | Grade: A-<br/>Reward: +2 Health<br/>Note: You forgot your handkerchief.</p><p>Blast it.</p><p>CHAPTER 2 REWRITTEN</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Welcome

**Author's Note:**

> Completely rewrote chapter 2 from yesterday. Didn't like it. 
> 
> This Bilbo will be a modernized version of who he was in The Hobbit, meaning that he's still polite and hospitable (by modern standards). It won't be a total rehashing of the story. Some vital points will be changed, forcing Bilbo to have to improvise. Radagast will have a bigger role. Pallando and Alatar will actually have a role. The ending will be different from the canon, so you can save your tissues.

 

 

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* * *

 

Congratulations! You have been specially selected as a beta-tester for Valar’s breakout virtual reality game,   **Ｍｉｄｄｌｅ Ｅａｒｔｈ**.

 

We’re very excited to confirm that you are one of the lucky few chosen for an early access into Middle Earth. As a beta-tester, your cooperation and feedback will be vital to our efforts in creating the best possible experience for the future, when this magical virtual reality will finally become open-to-all.

 

We have taken the liberty of creating an account for you, so you can just dive right into the experience, no hassle. Once you enter Middle Earth, your account will immediately be activated, and you will have the duration of one day to adjust to the game functions before the main story begins. Any problems you encounter can be easily taken care of with a quick alert to our tech support, which will be available to you 24/7.

 

The game console will be specially mailed to you as soon as possible. In the meantime, you can register your email here to receive the latest news and updates.

 

We look forward to seeing you in Middle Earth.

 

 

\- the Valar

 

 

 


	2. Bilbo's Pal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of kids had imaginary friends, but Bilbo's Pal was different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the rewritten 2nd chapter. I hope this is better. 
> 
> Unbetad, because I don't have anyone D;

On the 1st of July, the night sky had turned, twisted, and bleed a spiral of colors until suddenly something bright like a star fell like a glittering tear onto Earth. Bilbo followed its trail, hoping to find a meteor, and instead, found his dream come true: a wizard.

"Pallando of the Blue Wizards, at your service."

And just like that, Bilbo made his first best friend, who he came to call as simply "Pal." The wizard remained Bilbo's shadow and guardian for years. No one else knew the better, because no one other than Bilbo could see him. The Blue wizard would tell him would tell him of terribly wonderful, magical tales that he dared believe exist. He told him things the socially awkward child desperately needed to hear.

Bilbo Baggins was a special, and one day, he'd find out just how much.

Call it fiction or fable or an overactive imagination, but Bilbo swore to his peers on his goldfish Benny's watery grave that elves, dwarves, and, yes, even wizards were real. Especially wizards. His classmates would laugh and giggle in response, while the adults would merely chuckle but nod along. When one boy in class mockingly asked him if Santa Claus was real as well, Bilbo replied with all seriousness, eager to showoff his knowledge, "Actually, the real Saint Nicolas died centuries ago."

The Tooth Fairy isn't real. It's their parents leaving money under their pillows.

There is no gold at the end of the rainbow. Rainbows are just spectrums of light, which does not spit out money, little green men called Leprechauns, or Lucky Charms.

"Vacation to Jesus" is generally code for dead. Everyone dies and someday you will too.

Which resulted in him being sent to the principal's office for a much needed lecture on tact. "Was it something I said?"

The elderly woman rubbed her temple, attempting to sooth away a headache caused by the upset cries of children and parents alike. "Yes."

Despite that, Bilbo's days with Pallando were mostly peaceful. The wizard would tell him about his world: the Valar, Maiar, elves, dwarves, the rings, everything. His descriptions and words were so rich, it was almost as if he was there. In turn, Bilbo would teach him about his world: the Terminator 2 is the best movie ever, Batman is cooler than Superman, video games are forever, and so on. On nights when sleep evaded him, Pallando would sing him songs of the Shire until Bilbo fell asleep. On sunny days, they would climb up trees and spit out watermelon seeds as they snacked. They'd dive (or rather Bilbo would while Pallando watched in amusement) into neatly piled fall leaves, which his father had finally got all raked up, and get in trouble.

When they could, they'd race to the arcade, and Bilbo would spend most of his allowance on Mortal Combat, Tekken, and Space Invaders while Pallando spoke strategy. When his fears got the best of him, Pallando would look under the bed and in his closet to sooth him. When Bilbo was being bullied, Pallando would zap at their heels and scare them away. In the winter, Pallando would create shapes with the embers and smoke from the fireplace. Bilbo would teach him Christmas songs and admire the holiday lights.

Every now and then, Bilbo would catch Pallando staring up at the sky with such a sad expression it tore at his heart. Then he'd admit to his young friend, with misty blue eyes, "I miss my home."

Sometimes he swore he saw flashes of a world beyond this one, of a life that was taken from him. It was treasure just an inch out of his reach. An opportunity never seized, because it was never offered. A key without a lock. A door that refused to budge. He wasn't exactly sure why, but he knew that what he saw was as real as the air he breathed. Biblo wanted so badly to find a way back to that world for him and his friend. Why would Pallando lie to him?

Nothing came of it, until Bilbo jumped after that world, truly believing that he found the rift in time and space, like Pallando had fallen into to get to him. It ended tragically. He had fallen from the roof of his school, in clear view of everyone, onto the hard and unyielding pavement.

His upbringing was brought into question, and for a while, his parents were put under a harsh light of speculation. Rumors spread that Bilbo had tried to kill himself. Though no real evidence ever appeared, the townspeople still whispered amongst themselves. While Bilbo was recovering in the hospital, a priest visited him, who told him in no uncertain terms that Pallando was a demon in disguise tempting him to his death.

Frightened and upset from his near-death experienced, he believed it. The priest then visited his house to exorcise the demon, which would've otherwise amused Pallando if Bilbo didn't want to expel Pallando from him. With soft, understanding eyes, Pallando sadly smiled at him and said, "Perhaps it is for the best. I have failed you, and for that I am deeply sorry. You will never truly know how much, but one day, I promise you this, my lad, I will bring to you the world you so dearly wish to see. You deserve no less..."

"... And I cannot possibly bear to fail you again."

The priest beamed at Bilbo at a job well done when he told him that Pallando had gone. Though Bilbo would miss him, his parents told him that it was time do the proper thing and grow up. And just like that, his childhood was over.

Bilbo stopped believing in silly unrealistic things like elves, dwarves, and wizards. Especially wizards. The world lost its sparkle and he had lost his best friend.

Pallando was a fake and a liar.

There's no such thing as magic.

Dreams die and someday you will too.

However, on every 1st of July, Bilbo Baggins would up at the sky, searching. Waiting. Nothing came of it...

...until a single box suddenly appeared at his doorstep.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why was Pallando there in the first place? You'll find out eventually.  
> By the way, incase you didn't already know, Pallando and Alatar make up the Blue Wizards from Tolkien's stories. They aren't mentioned much, but they're there. They disappeared when they went to the east. This is my version of what happened to them.
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER: Gameplay! Finally!

**Author's Note:**

> Haven't you ever wondered what it'd be like if the video game characters were real? Well, I certainly have. I'm pretty sure I would've annoyed most of my team by my constant poking, or creeped out by how I knew their status and where they were at all times. Also, I bet my enemies would've been terrified with how I kept coming back from the dead.


End file.
